Excerpt from…
Chapter 18 – Humor For You Caregivers
This book is obviously written from the perspective of the husband, the caregiver in this journey. Connie would probably have a different take on some of what occurred but, that’s o.k. She can write her own book. In going back over some of the postings on the website, I ran across some funny stories of things that happened. It’s o.k, Connie knows I wrote about them. Someday, she might even get a laugh out of them. Just kidding.
Yesterday was Saturday and the girls were all out keeping up with their busy social schedules. I snuck home from the Hospital today (at 8:00 am) to start on the dishes and laundry and threw in a few loads and then…it happened….I passed by my bed.
Whoever slept in it last left the electric blanket on and it was quite toasty. The pillows were right there, where I left them. The Fox News channel was playing lightly in the background and the shades were still drawn…. Shhhhhh…It was kind of dark. No one was home….shhhhh!
Yep, I DID IT!!! I slipped back into bed. I slept for another 4 HOURS!!! Can you believe it?? I must’ve been exhausted too because I barely woke up as Krista was rummaging through my wallet to get my credit card out. What a scary way to wake up!? Huh? Maybe it was a nightmare!... Anyway, I think she just wanted to return something. But I digress…
When you go thru something like this, you have to be really diligent to eat right, stay away from sick people and also to get some rest and relaxation. I think I’m lacking on the third area because I just see things that need to be done and I do them.
Just like all you Moms out there. Sometimes, it’s harder to ask for help than it is to JUST DO IT!!! So, I got up from my nap and started again. I felt pretty good. I was able to get about 6 loads of laundry done. Ran the dishwasher twice. Cleaned our room and organized the games cabinet. I even had a 30 minute Q&A with Con on how to do the laundry correctly. Seems I made a pretty good wool sweater (of Kellies) from the Gap shrink to “Maddie-size”. Something about “fine washables?” I know it’s not a very macho thing, but someone had to do it.
The same thing happened to me on another Saturday right before Christmas. I was looking forward to a “guy day” to complete all my projects. Little did I know that my day would get away from me. It appeared that my experience struck a chord with many Mom’s in the audience. It was after this posting that I received record email messages from people who were following our progress. Here's what I posted:
Sweet Carla took Connie to the hospital today to give Ken the day off (Yay!).
My thoughts were that I would have the "whole day" to get caught up on projects around the house...you know, guy stuff! Light bulbs out, garage needing attention, garbage cans upside down on side of the house...things like that.
Since Con was gone however, I thought I'd vacuum. Can't vacuum when she's in the house (Dr.s orders) so, I took advantage. Well, you all know vacuuming is difficult if there's stuff all over the floor so, I had to pick it all up. I did. We hadn't fully unpacked yet from the hospital (more stuff still on the floor right?) so, I had to pick that up too!
As I unpacked all our suitcases, I thought I better put it all in Con's drawers...did that. Then, as I picked up all the clothes, I decided to get a load of wash going. Well, I did that. Then, I found out that none of the kids had done their laundry and since I'm doing ours...I'll grab some of theirs...well, I did that.
Got one load going and went downstairs and couldn't remember which project I was working on so, I cleaned the kitchen and got a load of dishes going. Oh yeah, the vacuuming...got to get that going before she returns...I did. I finished vacuuming the down stairs only and.…the door opened...they were back already! (Carla and Connie). I had to stop vacuuming.
It dawned on me that this is a typical day for most of you "toddler Mom's",
but for me it was TOTALLY FRUSTRATING!!!
The afternoon (which was supposed to be reserved for Ken-projects) was spent doing much of the same. We had to go thru our closets looking for Christmas presents to see if we bought enough for each kid. Of course, we didn't. I had a nice discussion with Connie as she told me what presents we "forgot" to get. I then, had to run all over town getting last minute items left off their lists.
Of course I had to bring Maddie to give Connie a break and we were buddies all afternoon. We got done about 6:00 pm. When we got home and I had to get dinner ready (Thanks Susan M. for making it easy for us). It was dinner, then cleaning the table, then doing the dishes (AGAIN) and then on to getting Maddie to bed.
Was my day over? NOPE! We now had to wrap everything we bought and then do another “inventory”. I don’t know how you guys do this day in and day out!
Not one “Ken-project” was even attempted. I crashed about 11:00 pm.
We had just passed our 45 day mark from transplant and it was mid March. We were still recuperating at home and doing pretty good. You could tell that the darkness of our experience was easing a bit from the tone of the website. Updating it each day was not imperative. I even shut down the site for a few short days for a very good reason - March Madness basketball. Those who know me, realize what a basketball fanatic I am. Here’s how I did it:
OUT OF ORDER
NOTICE: PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT:
UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE (or Monday, whichever comes first) THIS SECTION OF THE CARDELL WEBSITE WILL BE SHUT DOWN FOR SOME VERY IMPORTANT RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES.
IN THE EVENT OF ANY ABERRANT MEDICAL OCCURRENCES, WE WILL REOPEN TO INFORM THE INTERESTED PUBLIC IMMEDIATELY. WE DO NOT HOWEVER, EXPECT THIS TO HAPPEN.
WE REGRET THAT WE HAD TO TAKE THIS ACTION BUT DUE TO THE INTENSITY OF VARIOUS BETTING POOLS AND INCREDIBLE TOURNAMENT ACTION, IT HAS BECOME NECESSARY TO FOCUS ALL OUR EFFORTS ON VIEWING AS MANY GAMES AS WE CAN THIS WEEKEND.
PLEASE BE ASSURED THAT IN BETWEEN REGIONAL ACTION, CONNIE WILL BE GETTING HER MEDS (and occasionally some food). PLEASE DON'T CALL OUR COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT! OUR OPERATORS HAVE GONE TO LAS VEGAS FOR THE WEEKEND.
IF YOU MUST CONTACT ONE OR MORE OF OUR SITE PARTICIPANTS, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO EMAIL THEM. WE WILL BE DISTRIBUTING ANY EMAILS RECEIVED WITHIN 24 HOURS. THE SITE WILL REOPEN AGAIN UPON COMPLETION OF THE SWEET SIXTEEN AND A FULL WRAP-UP AS VIEWED ON ESPN SPORTSCENTER.
THANK YOU FOR YOU COOPERATION.
Most of you know Connie has been somewhat "challenged" to keep any fat on her bones. Those of you who check the site often, know that I affectionately have called her "bony butt".
She's o.k. with this because she sometimes calls herself that too. We both chuckle about it. She used to ask me, “Does my butt look big in these pants?” My natural response, usually before I even looked up was, “No Dear! It looks fine!” That is the proper response for a happily married man who has been with a woman for 24 years (he doesn’t even have to be in the same room and this works!).
These days however, I'm constantly chasing down a pillow or a blanket for her to sit on because she has lost so much weight. We actually call it her “bony butt” condition.
Now, before I tell you all this...I want it fully understood that I have
"prior permission" to tell this story. I don't want any of you women to email me and register complaints. Connie said I am “allowed” to tell you all.
So, back to the story.
Connie had taken a bath and was making her rounds thru her closet to find something to wear. As often is the case, she mumbles a lot and may try on two or three outfits before settling on something that pleases her. (Men don’t really ever do that…whatever is clean…they put it on, regardless of how it looks!) She was dressed only in her bra and panties as she moved about the room.
Maddie was innocently working on a puzzle book on Mommy's bed.
Connie tried on pants, a shirt, and various sweater combinations. Nothing seemed to fit right this day. She had laid out a partial outfit on the bed near Maddie. Connie had slipped on her pretty blue underpants and was bending over to check her bottom drawer. It's not a major thing but, the leg holes in her underwear just didn’t seem to be “as snug” like they used to be. She was only about 105 lbs. when she came home from the hospital due to all the treatments. Parts of her body just didn’t fill up their previous locations in her clothes. Still, she's not about to abandon some "comfy" underpants just because they don’t fit right. (C'mon you guys...you all do this too! Don't BS me!)
Apparently, Maddie had put down her puzzle book long enough to notice Mom bending over in her underwear.
Maddie piped up and asked, "Mommy?…aren't those two things (she meant her cheeks) suppose to stay up in your underwear?"
Connie asked, “What two things Maddie?” Maddie then cupped her hands as if she was making an ALLSTATE commercial and said, “Those two things!”
Connie finally understood and with her hands on her hips said, "YES, MADDIE...THEY ARE!"
Connie was a bit taken aback but began to laugh. It appeared that there were many things these days that just didn't fit like they used to. She laughs at it now but, I'm sure she would happily go back to those days where her panties were snug! ha ha...
Anyway, she's doing well for now and we keep pushing the nutrition thing. Hopefully, before long...she'll be sitting down with her own built-in cushion.